How to make an Atlas

Last Post

I just read my blogspot blog over one. That shit… was depressing. I realized even after a whole year had passed I’d still been writing about the same shit. Well… it was different shit but the context is the same. And the context of this blog is “whining”. I mean… Im oversimplifying How to Make An Atlas but, *sigh… the patterns are the same as the last blog. 

No girlfriend, Trying to get motivated, life is hard, I wonder if this was an act of god, etc… Oh and dont forget “im tired of whining”, which is redundant, as well. In short, im starting fresh with a new blog… This shit is depressing. 

Key Element

Im back at the start of the cycle: feeling helpless and alone. I was almost over the hump with that last beat tape release… But I didnt do something - I missed something and now im back at square one of amatuer artist-ness, which is “philosophical-pessimistic-loser-emo-sociopath” mode again. What did I miss? Some kind of revelation I wasnt open to?

I gotta go back to what worked the first time… When was I the most energetic?… Sometime last year… Around Soundset 2011… May-ish… I was shooting video… Freestyling with friends… Meditating every morning + exercise… So, Career, Friendship, Fitness… Writing Rhymes.. Beats.. Ok, Why was I happy about that?

I gotta re-read my blog…

*Shrugs - Fuck it.

Promoting your own project sucks. You see who your real friends are when your pushing it online. Who reblogs your stuff, who links your stuff and who doesnt? Thats right, besides the guys who reblog other guys for appearances sake and are facebook liking their lady associates so as a device to flirt with em on the sly.. Or are already part of group of dudes who perform at the same venue’s so they see eachother anyway? So they promote eachothers shit on twitter and facebook… You see who’s just really talking shit. 

Neckbreaking School has 4 downloads, 160 views and its been 6 days. The support I was expecting is NOT the support I got. There was one person in particular that I really was hoping would give me a mention that did not and im reflecting on it before I write about it but she seems to have done a small promotion of all my peers’ projects. But not mine, so im wondering if its me? Does my shit not fit into the Minneapolis scene? 

Does my shit not appear to be profitable? Does association with me not fit the season? Maybe the answer is not so dark, im thinking. Maybe its something simple like… like… uh.. I dont even know what but i’ll tell you this much, my publicity reflects badly on myself; I dont get out alot and so my shit isnt getting out alot. Not just in terms of going to a show, but going to a friends house… 

But yeah, anyway, March 15th im up all fucking night on Twitter… Where i found dissapointment i also found suprise at a new table of friends in a way. Um, first this emcee named Shado retweets me, and then dude Bishop who I’ve always been wierded out by, Ublique who I had a falling out with all fall and winter, and then uh… Another dude named Atlas, Brittain… I think thats it. 

But I’ve been writing this post for too long and I forgot my main point for this shit…

Oh yeah “fuck it”. Promoting your shit is boring but I guess if dont keep tweeting it and making it appear on peoples timelines then I’ll feel worse.